Okay, ladies, today’s devotion is just for you, and I’ll tell you, you’re probably not going to like it. In my defense, I’m just the messenger. What I’m telling you today is straight from the Word of God, but it’s definitely convicting. Let’s look at a couple of verses in Proverbs 21.
When the Bible says something once, it’s important, but when it repeats it, we need to seriously pay attention. Not once, but twice, in this chapter, God highlights it would be better for a man to live in an undesirable environment than to live with a brawling, contentious, or angry woman. What does that say about how adverse the situation is for the man who dwells with a fussy wife? Ouch!
The first verse conveys the idea that a man would be better off living in a corner in the attic. Do you have any idea what my attic looks like? It’s packed full of stuff. It’s dark, dirty, and dusty. There are spiders and who knows what other creepy crawlies. And to top it off, the slanting roof line has large nails protruding from the boards. That’s not even safe. Can you imagine having to live up there? Can you imagine your husband having to live up there? Me neither, but according to this verse, he would be better off if all we do is gripe and complain.
The word “brawling” used in verse nine means “contentious, argumentative, controversial, quarrelsome, or vexed.” Yikes! When I read that verse this morning, a hundred instances of my complaints and negativity immediately floated through my mind. I didn’t even have to try to come up with something. On the flip side, when I tried to convince myself I’m positive and supportive as often as I’m quarrelsome and argumentative, I struggled to come up with many instances where I proved that. Oh, me!
The second verse takes things a step further by telling us our men would be better off alone in the wilderness than to dwell with a griping wife. The wilderness? Really? But it’s dry and dangerous, but apparently not as bad as a contentious and angry woman. You know, one who complains that he’s never home then gets frustrated with him when he is. The wife who fusses that he doesn’t help with the housework then complains when he doesn’t do it the right way (i.e., her way). The wife who seems never to be satisfied, who always has to have the last word, who thinks she should be running the household instead of the other way around. When I put it that way, I wonder how many husbands would actually prefer to live in the wilderness or the attic.
Ladies, we’ve got to get it together! God created us to be helpmeets. The last time I looked, complaining and arguing never helped anyone. When we’re difficult to get along with and insist on having our own way, we tear our husbands down. Instead of showing them the respect they deserve, we insinuate that their opinions don’t matter and we would be better off to do things ourselves. Is it any wonder our men withdraw from our company? Is it any surprise they’d rather do their own thing or hang out with the guys?
Our husbands are a treasure, and we need to treat them as such. We ought to be agreeable and positive, always respecting their opinion. I’m not saying we should allow them to lord over us or that we can never have our own opinion, but I am saying we need to remember to whom God gave the authority of the family. It belongs to our husbands, not us. He should have the final say, and we should love and respect him enough to go along with that and to do so willingly, not begrudgingly.
I don’t know about you, ladies, but I don’t like the idea that my sweet hubby would be better off living in the attic or the wilderness than living with me. I want our home (and my presence) to be inviting and welcoming. I desire for my man to want to spend time with me because doing so makes him feel loved, appreciated, and refreshed. For this to come about, however, I have some work to do. I need to get my attitude in order. How about you?