When the World Doesn't Understand

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Hold not thy peace, O God of my praise; For the mouth of the wicked and the mouth of the deceitful are opened against me: they have spoken against me with a lying tongue. They compassed me about also with words of hatred; and fought against me without a cause. . .For I am poor and needy, and my heart is wounded within me. I am gone like the shadow when it declineth: I am tossed up and down as the locust. My knees are weak through fasting; and my flesh faileth of fatness. I became also a reproach unto them: when they looked upon me they shaked their heads. Help me, O Lord my God: O save me according to thy mercy: That they may know that this is thy hand; that thou, Lord, hast done it.
— Psalm 109:1-3,22-27

David and I have a lot in common.  He was easily swayed by his emotions as am I.  He messed up in some pretty big ways, and I have too.  He truly wanted to live his life for the Lord, but sometimes his “want to” and his “know how” didn’t see eye to eye.  And, as we see in the passage above, David understood all too well what it was like to do the right thing and be despised for it.  Unfortunately, I now know that pain as well.

In our attempts to find a good home for Barnabas, I thought it would be a good idea to reach out to fellow dog-lovers, particularly those who love pit bulls.  So, I joined a couple of “pit bull lovers”groups on Facebook and described our situation.  I felt if anyone would understand what we’re going through and be able to give helpful advice and suggestions, it would be these people.  Boy, was I wrong!

I cannot even tell you some of the things that were said to me because I do not use such language.  To hear most of the people within these groups talk, I was more evil than Satan himself for even thinking about giving away my dog.  I was ridiculed.  I was called every name under the sun.  Some even stated it would have been better for Barnabas if we had never adopted him because we’re such horrible people.  I was not prepared for such an onslaught of animosity, and my heavy heart could not bear it.  I dropped out the groups, refusing to read another single post.

I guess I shouldn’t have been surprised.  After all, most of those people probably were not saved, and the world simply cannot understand why any sane person would give up their home, family, and yes, dog, to go to another country to tell others about Jesus.  It doesn’t make sense to them.  In their minds, there’s nothing greater than living the American dream (or the equivalent to that in other countries around the world).  They don’t understand that there’s something out there bigger than themselves and their happiness.  They’ve never tasted the grace of God, so they cannot comprehend why we would give up everything to tell others about it.  To be honest, on my tougher days, I have to remind myself why we’re doing what we’re doing.

But even though I know we’re doing a great work, it’s difficult when others look down on us because of it.  It’s hard to be ridiculed and thought a fool.  It’s discouraging when people demean our efforts to be the best person we can be and accuse us of being cold and uncaring.  Like David, I took my pain to the Lord, and I poured out my heart.  That’s when God directed me to Psalm 109, particularly the last couple of verses.

I will greatly praise the Lord with my mouth; yea, I will praise him among the multitude. For he shall stand at the right hand of the poor, to save him from those that condemn his soul.
— Psalm 109:30-31

No, the world may not understand what we’re doing and why we’re doing it, but God does.  And He will stand by us and save us from those who are condemning us.  He may not shelter us from the insults, but He will give peace and blessed reminders that any work done for Him is a good work and will be rewarded.  We’re not alone.  The world may mock and criticize, but it doesn’t matter what they think.  All that matters is what God says.  And with that in mind, I can worship and praise Him for all He’s done and all He will do.  And then, I can follow God’s leading and help the world to understand, one soul at a time.

When I Lay My Isaac Down

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It was the news we’d been eagerly anticipating yet anxiously dreading, for we knew it would change our lives in so many ways. It wasn’t good. Not good at all. But after two extensive DNA tests, the results could not be denied—Barnabas is a pitbull/boxer mix. That may not sound like a life-altering revelation to you, but for us, it means we cannot take him with us to Wales, for pitbulls are among the banned breeds in the UK.

After all the time and hard work we’ve invested in our pup to gain his trust and assure him we have his best interest at heart, now we have a difficult decision to make. Barnabas needs a new home. He needs a family who will love him as a child, welcome him despite his sometimes temperamental nature, and enjoy the lovable personality he brings to the mix. The question is, when? When should this change take place? With Jason and I traveling more and more for deputation, it makes sense to re-home Barnabas sooner rather than later, but I don’t think either of us is ready to say “Goodbye.” All of our pets have been “till death do us part” pets. We’ve never had to give one away, and it’s heartbreaking.

At the same time, we know God wants us in Wales, so we must go. We want to go. We just don’t want to have to leave Barnabas behind. In this moment, I have an inkling of how Abraham must have felt when God commanded him to sacrifice his son, Isaac. Isaac was the promised son, the one Abraham waited on for so long. Why would God give him his heart’s desire then ask him to give it up? It seems cruel. But as we know, God’s ways are not our ways, and He had His reasons for asking such a thing of Abraham. Fortunately, Abraham obeyed, but at the last minute, God stayed his hand.

God gave us Barnabas about a year and a half ago, and in that time, we’ve developed a great bond. Our wary pup has come so far, learned so much, and given such love. But now, for whatever reason, God is asking us to give him up, and there’s no promise that God will swoop in at the last minute and make everything right. Nevertheless, we must follow Abraham’s example and obey. We’ll lay our Isaac down. It breaks our hearts, and we don’t understand, but after all God has done for us, it’s the least we can do.

Please, please help us pray for guidance at this time. We need to determine the right time to find our lovable mutt a new home and find the perfect family who will accept him as he is because he is certainly one of a kind, and I say that in a good way.


Running to the Master

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A few nights ago, I was awakened by a bright flash of light. Groggy from sleep, I lay still trying to determine what had disturbed my blissful slumber. A long roll of thunder confirmed my suspicions—a storm had rolled in. As the roar tailed off, I expected to hear the pitter-patter of feet on the hardwood floors, but none came, so I closed my eyes and did my best to get back to sleep. 

 Before long, another flash of light lit up the bedroom, and once again, a roll of thunder followed in its wake. This time, however, there was no hesitation. I heard Barnabas as he jumped down from his comfy place on the couch and made his way to our bedroom. Within seconds, his cold nose nudged my arm, and his big pleading eyes met mine as if to say, “Mommy, I’m scared. Can I sleep with you?”

I patted the space on the bed between Jason and me, and in no time, the area was filled with 95-pounds of dog. Barnabas snuggled into the space, breathed a sigh of relief, and promptly went back to sleep. Though the storm raged on through the night, Barnabas slept soundly because he knew he was safe with his masters.

As I watched/listened to my sweet pup go from anxious to completely settled, I couldn’t help but smile. I can relate. How sweet it is to run to my Master when I’m afraid. When the storms roll around me, and I don’t know what to do, it’s such a blessing to know I can find peace and safety in the arms of my Lord. Sometimes He actively comforts me, but other times, just resting in His presence is all it takes to ease my mind and calm my fears. And not once have I ever been turned away. Every time I’ve approached the Lord and said, “Daddy, I’m scared. Can I sit with you?,” He’s invited me into His presence. Every time! And I know He always will.

Are you afraid today? Do the storms have you running for cover? If so, seek refuge with the Father. He loves you and understands your fear. He longs to comfort you and give you peace in the midst of your storm. And He will never, ever turn you away (even if you do have a cold, wet nose!).

What time I am afraid, I will trust in thee.
— Psalm 56:3

NOTE: I apologize for the lack of audio lately. Last week, I was sick and had little to no voice. This week, for some reason, my recording software is giving me fits and picking up a lot of background noise. Oddly enough, it’s noise that isn’t really in the background. I have no idea where it’s coming from. Lord willing, I’ll get it running smoothly before long and get back to recording the daily devotions. Gotta love technology!